The Tree and Everything About It

The speaker just mentioned that she's currently reading a book about the life of a tree. The tree also have feelings, they communicate.

Before she ended the whole day talk with us, she use this illustration on the effects of words to a tree and how much more to a person.

There's one place somewhere who never cut trees. If they need to, the people would gather around, will encircle the tree and will curse the tree "you're no good!", "you're ugly!" "unworthy!", "you better die!".

The following days the tree would be like this.

It's sad,,that's the effect of words to any living creature I guess. 

Make or break.

The Lord, also sometime curse a fig tree for not bearing fruits, but leaves only, that it would be much better if it just die. True enough, the fig tree died. (Matt. 21:19-20)

I was saddened for the trees.

Then I recall 8 mos. ago I have a picture taken hugging a tree!

I just asked my friend to just take me a picture. I can't recall  the reason behind "hugging trees" I just read long time ago that there's effect. I can't just really recall what it is (forgetful me). My obedient dear friend just ride with my craziness. She took picture, several pictures of me hugging the tree.

Also, what's with the tree house?

My second time to stay in a tree house..

2009 December.  I stayed here. First time. Alone.

... but this time with a friend. 

2016 Jan. 

Are they the same? 

the 2009 and 2016? 

Never I thought nor considered that my friend (same friend who took picture of me hugging tree) has fear of heights and stairs! Only dawned in me when we get to the place and she saw the tree house where we will be staying and she commented.

I could have book other accommodation? I just really forgot to consider. But proud of my friend! She survived the countless ups and down! (no choice? She have to?)

Though my second time, not exempted the fear when the house swayed. Earthquake we thought. No,, it's the natural tendency because we are in the "tree house". The strong wind causes the tree house to sway (funny us!).

Being on top, is where the strongest sway happens. Would anyone feel the sway when in bottom? The tree house just followed the wind, swayed, bend and returned to its state. My friend and I should had the assurance that the stronghold of the house is in its roots. Deep, rooted for years in the ground. But my friend and I ran down and out of the tree house late we realized that it's natural. Anybody's tendency I guess when we don’t' really understand the reason, we already have our own and immediate interpretation and of course, when safety and protection is at stake. Run, get down when strong wind comes  instead of just stay and just sway with the wind and believe that the deep roots will stand the wind. This lesson have to learn.

My tree hugging, with unknown reason at all happened January 28.

Two days after, my father died. The process is difficult. Not his lost, but by facing the world that my "adoptive father" died. I am not his child!

I could just stay with what people know (the surface) about me. Life would be simple.

But for sure, many questions will be raised. Why I am not living and didn’t grow with them, why I don’t look like my mother, my father, my 9 siblings. though I already have my "templated" answers since I was a child on all of those why's, but I am already tired of not telling truth. It's so tiring.

I resolved to myself to speak the truth. It happened. Not my fault being adopted. Also, this becomes my opportunity to thank Tatay for bringing me to his family. My life could be different if not because of him. I could not be where I am right now and I could not have my friends now whom so dear to me. Things could be different so thanks to him. Thanks to God.

here with sibling #3, telling "my story" and paying tribute to Tatay for bringing me to his family.

But, that's when I thought it's over, I'm over.

Not until my birth month (July), not my fabricated birth month (December) came.

Everything surfaced! That's it! Many things surfaced.

Since it surfaced, I have to deal on it. One by one, one at a time, layer by layer.

So here! Healing.

Have to be in the process of healing so I could also help others, primarily adoptees like me be healed. It takes one to know one.

What's again with hugging a tree?

Now, after 8 mos. only I searched for it's reason and found this.

"Being a tree-hugger: When you hug a tree, you become amalgamated and be one with the tree. This personal linkage will allow the energy shift between you and the tree. The tree absorbed the negative energy that you have, will balance it and turn it into a positive one. Try to hug a tree longer with your eyes close. Take a deep breath,meditate and gently feel the energy as it flows through in and out of  your body. Keep hugging until you feel the total transmission of positive energies and you felt re-charged, renewed and reborn. this is the healing process we can benefited from the trees.  What are you waiting for? start to stretch out those arms and be a tree-hugger!"

https://answersto.wordpress.com/2010/06/10/hug-a-tree/

(in bold statement is mine)

Healing.

Right in time where I am. 

The Lord just brought in my remembrance that picture. Now with deeper meaning and sense.

I can't wait for this vacation so I could hug all this trees.

Here where God manifest His presence, greatness and love. Through His creation. The Lord in all His wisdom.

Now reading this --

Lord, Heal My Hurts,

A Devotional Study on God's Care and Deliverance

by Kay Arthur

I'll get by.

My Lord and My God, the One and Only source of my healing.

My Jehovah-rapha, my Lord God who heals. 

The Tree and Everything About It

The speaker just mentioned that she's currently reading a book about the life of a tree. The tree also have feelings, they communicate.

Before she ended the whole day talk with us, she use this illustration on the effects of words to a tree and how much more to a person.

There's one place somewhere who never cut trees. If they need to, the people would gather around, will encircle the tree and will curse the tree "you're no good!", "you're ugly!" "unworthy!", "you better die!".

The following days the tree would be like this.

It's sad,,that's the effect of words to any living creature I guess. 

Make or break.

The Lord, also sometime curse a fig tree for not bearing fruits, but leaves only, that it would be much better if it just die. True enough, the fig tree died. (Matt. 21:19-20)

I was saddened for the trees.

Then I recall 8 mos. ago I have a picture taken hugging a tree!

I just asked my friend to just take me a picture. I can't recall  the reason behind "hugging trees" I just read long time ago that there's effect. I can't just really recall what it is (forgetful me). My obedient dear friend just ride with my craziness. She took picture, several pictures of me hugging the tree.

Also, what's with the tree house?

My second time to stay in a tree house..

2009 December.  I stayed here. First time. Alone.

... but this time with a friend. 

2016 Jan. 

Are they the same? 

the 2009 and 2016? 

Never I thought nor considered that my friend (same friend who took picture of me hugging tree) has fear of heights and stairs! Only dawned in me when we get to the place and she saw the tree house where we will be staying and she commented.

I could have book other accommodation? I just really forgot to consider. But proud of my friend! She survived the countless ups and down! (no choice? She have to?)

Though my second time, not exempted the fear when the house swayed. Earthquake we thought. No,, it's the natural tendency because we are in the "tree house". The strong wind causes the tree house to sway (funny us!).

Being on top, is where the strongest sway happens. Would anyone feel the sway when in bottom? The tree house just followed the wind, swayed, bend and returned to its state. My friend and I should had the assurance that the stronghold of the house is in its roots. Deep, rooted for years in the ground. But my friend and I ran down and out of the tree house late we realized that it's natural. Anybody's tendency I guess when we don’t' really understand the reason, we already have our own and immediate interpretation and of course, when safety and protection is at stake. Run, get down when strong wind comes  instead of just stay and just sway with the wind and believe that the deep roots will stand the wind. This lesson have to learn.

My tree hugging, with unknown reason at all happened January 28.

Two days after, my father died. The process is difficult. Not his lost, but by facing the world that my "adoptive father" died. I am not his child!

I could just stay with what people know (the surface) about me. Life would be simple.

But for sure, many questions will be raised. Why I am not living and didn’t grow with them, why I don’t look like my mother, my father, my 9 siblings. though I already have my "templated" answers since I was a child on all of those why's, but I am already tired of not telling truth. It's so tiring.

I resolved to myself to speak the truth. It happened. Not my fault being adopted. Also, this becomes my opportunity to thank Tatay for bringing me to his family. My life could be different if not because of him. I could not be where I am right now and I could not have my friends now whom so dear to me. Things could be different so thanks to him. Thanks to God.

here with sibling #3, telling "my story" and paying tribute to Tatay for bringing me to his family.

But, that's when I thought it's over, I'm over.

Not until my birth month (July), not my fabricated birth month (December) came.

Everything surfaced! That's it! Many things surfaced.

Since it surfaced, I have to deal on it. One by one, one at a time, layer by layer.

So here! Healing.

Have to be in the process of healing so I could also help others, primarily adoptees like me be healed. It takes one to know one.

What's again with hugging a tree?

Now, after 8 mos. only I searched for it's reason and found this.

"Being a tree-hugger: When you hug a tree, you become amalgamated and be one with the tree. This personal linkage will allow the energy shift between you and the tree. The tree absorbed the negative energy that you have, will balance it and turn it into a positive one. Try to hug a tree longer with your eyes close. Take a deep breath,meditate and gently feel the energy as it flows through in and out of  your body. Keep hugging until you feel the total transmission of positive energies and you felt re-charged, renewed and reborn. this is the healing process we can benefited from the trees.  What are you waiting for? start to stretch out those arms and be a tree-hugger!"

https://answersto.wordpress.com/2010/06/10/hug-a-tree/

(in bold statement is mine)

Healing.

Right in time where I am. 

The Lord just brought in my remembrance that picture. Now with deeper meaning and sense.

I can't wait for this vacation so I could hug all this trees.

Here where God manifest His presence, greatness and love. Through His creation. The Lord in all His wisdom.

Now reading this --

Lord, Heal My Hurts,

A Devotional Study on God's Care and Deliverance

by Kay Arthur

I'll get by.

My Lord and My God, the One and Only source of my healing.

My Jehovah-rapha, my Lord God who heals. 

Over But Not Over

When I think it's over. Not until.

I know by heart  before my schooling age that I am adopted. I don't look like my cousins, my tito's and tita's even my adoptive parents and siblings. I know early on I am not one of them. I am not from this bloodline. They didn't let me feel I am different and that's I am thankful.

At the start of my teen (13), Mama and Tita told me I am adopted. I am not shocked. No typical walk out, over crying as we typically seen in movies. When I was growing, i found an adoption letter from my tita's pile of documents, so when they told me I am adopted, the letter confirms that it's me.

At my 15, someone introduced me the concept of forgiveness and acceptance of Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior and to have eternal life in heaven, I had a real sure deal struggle issue of forgiveness. Forgiveness towards my birth mother. First time I revealed myself, my hurt and feeling of abandonment. She explained to me that I should be thankful because I was handed to good persons and I have at least better life. So, solved with that. Reason of handling me to stranger.

My 19th birthday, one friend told me, that one of our friend told her that I am "possessive". This person to whom I told my story the 1st time? We became friends. Confidante. Seems like my maturity was stretched? I was 19 then but work, family, lovelife and personal issues were entrusted in confidence and that's I am thankful and blessed. Who am i in the first place?

Not until I was 22 then, working already, and I don't really understand she suddenly don't want to talk to me! She literally doesn't want to see me. What happen to those almost thrice a week we were always together (serious) talks? Before she left abroad, despedida party, through game, where she has to describe names and she picked my name! That's where I found out that during those time, she observed that I tend to look at her as "mother" image and that she doesn't want. I was shocked she has that feeling. She never talked to me about that. She just dropped me. No explanation.

In the very first place I don't look that to my friends. They can never be. I treated my friends (mostly older than me) as sisters. Siblings. I grew up without sister around so when I had older friends, it comforts me.

My friend perception that I am looking to her as my "mother" traumatized me. I became so sensitive in building close friendship, especially to those older than me. I don't want them to feel that I am looking that to them then leave me again. "Leave again". "Abandon" again. (Not again).

From then on the Lord still brought and I still gained close friends older than me and I treasured that and blessed by their lives and again, confidence. Seems like I'm over with the issue! Congratulations to me.

Not until one friend told me that I tend to be "clingy" to this new found friend. I told her that I know and I am aware of my tendency and I already know how to do with it. Attach and detach. That's always my formula and it hurts me. Really hurt me but that's the only thing I know to resolved it.

Why I always have this fear of being attach to dear friends?
Why always my solution is detach and accept that all people getting closer to me will leave me?

Going back to my roots, because even my birth mother abandon me so why others would stay with me?

That thought and the feelings keeps on coming back and it hurts me so much. I don't like the feeling.

Many (i assume) will still come to my life if this issue will not be resolved, the hurt will just keep on coming back and will just be a cycle.

Praised be to God, He promised that He will not leave us nor forsake us. I have a Father in heaven that will stay with me, will never leave me.

Hebrews 13:5

...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Over But Not Over

When I think it's over. Not until.

I know by heart  before my schooling age that I am adopted. I don't look like my cousins, my tito's and tita's even my adoptive parents and siblings. I know early on I am not one of them. I am not from this bloodline. They didn't let me feel I am different and that's I am thankful.

At the start of my teen (13), Mama and Tita told me I am adopted. I am not shocked. No typical walk out, over crying as we typically seen in movies. When I was growing, i found an adoption letter from my tita's pile of documents, so when they told me I am adopted, the letter confirms that it's me.

At my 15, someone introduced me the concept of forgiveness and acceptance of Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior and to have eternal life in heaven, I had a real sure deal struggle issue of forgiveness. Forgiveness towards my birth mother. First time I revealed myself, my hurt and feeling of abandonment. She explained to me that I should be thankful because I was handed to good persons and I have at least better life. So, solved with that. Reason of handling me to stranger.

My 19th birthday, one friend told me, that one of our friend told her that I am "possessive". This person to whom I told my story the 1st time? We became friends. Confidante. Seems like my maturity was stretched? I was 19 then but work, family, lovelife and personal issues were entrusted in confidence and that's I am thankful and blessed. Who am i in the first place?

Not until I was 22 then, working already, and I don't really understand she suddenly don't want to talk to me! She literally doesn't want to see me. What happen to those almost thrice a week we were always together (serious) talks? Before she left abroad, despedida party, through game, where she has to describe names and she picked my name! That's where I found out that during those time, she observed that I tend to look at her as "mother" image and that she doesn't want. I was shocked she has that feeling. She never talked to me about that. She just dropped me. No explanation.

In the very first place I don't look that to my friends. They can never be. I treated my friends (mostly older than me) as sisters. Siblings. I grew up without sister around so when I had older friends, it comforts me.

My friend perception that I am looking to her as my "mother" traumatized me. I became so sensitive in building close friendship, especially to those older than me. I don't want them to feel that I am looking that to them then leave me again. "Leave again". "Abandon" again. (Not again).

From then on the Lord still brought and I still gained close friends older than me and I treasured that and blessed by their lives and again, confidence. Seems like I'm over with the issue! Congratulations to me.

Not until one friend told me that I tend to be "clingy" to this new found friend. I told her that I know and I am aware of my tendency and I already know how to do with it. Attach and detach. That's always my formula and it hurts me. Really hurt me but that's the only thing I know to resolved it.

Why I always have this fear of being attach to dear friends?
Why always my solution is detach and accept that all people getting closer to me will leave me?

Going back to my roots, because even my birth mother abandon me so why others would stay with me?

That thought and the feelings keeps on coming back and it hurts me so much. I don't like the feeling.

Many (i assume) will still come to my life if this issue will not be resolved, the hurt will just keep on coming back and will just be a cycle.

Praised be to God, He promised that He will not leave us nor forsake us. I have a Father in heaven that will stay with me, will never leave me.

Hebrews 13:5

...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.